It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
