I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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