Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
