You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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