I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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