The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
