Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
