Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
