just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
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