Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
