I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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