I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
