Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
