my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
