I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
