i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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