So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
