Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
