So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
