it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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