Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
