Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
third nipple confirmed
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
