Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i already hear my dad disowning me
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
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