you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
