Christians are straight up FREAKS
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
