Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
