I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It's just like the Real World with babies
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
