You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
