I have demons in me.
where am i from again
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
