i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i think i have two assholes
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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