this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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