I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
