dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just gargled with NyQuil
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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