gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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