Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
