I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
