she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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