Its about making memories worth repressing
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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