Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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