Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
