Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
