i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
