you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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