It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
