We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
