Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
