that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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