If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
