i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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