I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
